The best excuses for when you are late on your bike… and maybe you have to tell your partner!
1. I HAVE A LAUNDRY
The most classic of excuses to use with spouses, simple and effective. Bad luck is always around the corner, you want it not to hit you from time to time, but you were late just because you wanted to make one last descent.
2. MY FRIEND HAS WRONG TRACK
"Sorry dear, you know how it is ... you remember Massimo, that friend of mine who I told you was a living navigator, who always organizes perfect laps .. well you won't believe it .. he was wrong to read a gpx track, which he did confusion with Maps .. which made contact with Garmin .. something never seen "
3. CRISIS OF HUNGER
You arrive home folded in half, without energy .. you drag yourself inside the house somehow. Your girlfriend, worried / pissed about being late, will ask you what happened. At this point she pronounces: "hunger crisis .. I left without bars and I paid the consequences". The worried girl will forgive and comfort you. Too bad that in reality the mtb ride included a few kilometers but many food and wine stops.
4. THE BIKE WAS MUDDED AND I HAD TO CLEAN IT
You start with: "I'm really sorry dear, I know I'm late, but I couldn't help but stop and clean the bike ...'If she counters with a phrase like:' sorry you couldn't do it tomorrow, just today at the end of the lap that you knew we had to go to ikea? ' you argue firmly: 'I know but today there was a lot of mud flashbacks with the sun .. and you know that for me it is very important to do the things you like ... and then who doesn't love Ikea! But if you were in the industry you would understand that cleaning the bike is essential after a mud ride. Cleaning is essential: the mud penetrates your bearings, that absurd dirt that clogs your bottom bracket .. not to mention the rain so rich in pollution that it corrodes the pads .. a disaster. With what I paid, the bike is almost a duty to give it a minimum of maintenance '. R: 'okay .. if so it's okay, excuse me' B: 'forgiven love'. 'but since today there is a beautiful sun, what do you say if we take 2 steps?'. "Ah yes, today it's sunny ..."
5. I GO TO TAKE THE PIZZA BY THE SLICE
Uncomfortable situation towards your partner, when after the bike ride you stop for the third time and you realize after hours that you are sensationally late and even a little tipsy. At that point the telephone call of life starts: " hi dear, sorry i was a little late, you know i haven't seen the boys for a while ..'Girl' but comeeee, just tonight..we had pizza with my parents'. "Don't worry .. I have the solution: coming back there is that fabulous pizza by the slice .. I stop and take everything myself .. special tastes and it looks great 'R:' okay .. but I recommend no eggplant that my mom can't digest them 'B:' be calm dear .. see you later. "
Too bad you forget and, when opening the pizza boxes, only aubergines!
6. Brawl with a group of bikers
If you return home a bit sore, stage a fight with a group of motorcyclists: “I was in the woods, intent on trying the descent of the Fawn. I was going down with all the necessary precautions, helmet .. knees .. bib and as a diligent biker I signaled my passage with a blow of the whistle before every curve. Except that at some point I find myself a motorcyclist intent on a dangerous U-turn in the path. At that point, while braking hard, there was a small collision. At my request for explanations, the barbarian with the engine punches me in the chest and a kick on the shin and runs away. So bruised and stunned, I didn't even have time to read the license plate. "
7. THE CAGOTTO
Honey, I was getting off my bike but at a certain point I got a terrible pain. I think it was the eggplant from the day before. It has been intense hours.
And with that I hope I have given you some great excuses for when you are late on the bike.
Video featured in episode # 42 of 'PULITI dentro BIKER fuori'
